James, unbeknownst to any of the other Crows, chose to be conventionally interviewed for this particular bio and the following is a transcription of said interview:
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Interviewer: For the record, is your name James
Cochrane? |
*****End Interview*****
We hope this helps in further venturing into the Psyche of James Cochrane. Enjoy!
In the years to come James Cochrane had disappeared into the proverbial Woodwork. Appearing briefly in several skits (some of which he co-wrote with the other Crows) and Rant Nights (inflicting his poetry on the unsuspecting patrons there). Never staying in one place long enough to gather a decent photograph (the index page ‘photo’ being an amalgamation of several artists’ renditions and a one cleverly manipulated marble rye).
“Photographs… steal… your. …soul”¹
It wasn’t until this advertisement placed in a well-known Prince George Newspaper’s classified section²:
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3 wimps seeking muscleman for PAYBACK fee Negotiable Hit-men need not apply |
Although the phone number that accompanied the aforementioned ad has been removed for Mr. Cochrane’s safety and well being, it has been traced to him. In his own words (first on record account since the above interview conducted years ago was put to paper) Mr. Cochrane has stated: ‘I’m not a smart man’. The oddest thing about the answer to why he chose to use his own number instead of a PO box or alternate address for response was that he spoke in the most peculiar Southern accent³.
At any rate here are a few tidbits of things Mr. Cochrane has been accused of staining good paper with:
Stirring Refrain
It was a sad day for my Hard on
In Dreams
The comfort of a Big Boned Woman
Footnotes
¹ circa 1998. Quote compiled from several well-documented articles.
² July 13th edition. The paper has asked that its name be unaffiliated with any part of the Crows. All that can be said is it rhymes with ‘Trince Norge Pitizen’.
³ Odd meaning peculiar. This coming about as the most overwhelming flaw
in the oft critically criticalled Biography of the ineffable James Cochrane ‘A
Hootenanny is just a Hoe-Down with Barn Animals: the James Cochrane story in 1
part’ by Schleppy Farnsworth4. In it Mr. Farnsworth reveals
evidence that James Cochrane was born in Prince Rupert, British Columbia on
June 24, 1974 and in furtherance to back his claim has reprints of Mr. Cochrane’s
birth certificate and baby footprints. Not once stating that Mr. Cochrane has
ever lived an extensive period of time in or abouts the Southern United States
area nor been connected to watching ‘In the Heat of the Night5’
more than several passing encounters flipping through channels. Thus, again,
raising confusion among the Cohranites as to Mr. Cochrane’s backgound.
4 Schleppy Farnsworth has long since been the object of refution (form of the word: refute) in most, if not all, the literary circles formed around the ‘myth’ of James Cochrane. Some scholars (namely Klevan ‘The K-man’ Krendel6) believe that Schleppy Farnsworth may well be a Pseudonym of Mr. Cochrane’s (in a similar vein as Fox Mulder’s ‘M.F. Luder’7). All never proven.
5 In the Heat of the Night. Originally a 1967 Norman Jewison film later turned into a weekly Cop show in the 80’s.
6 Klevin ‘The K-man’ Krendel. Just a guy. Most well known in AD&D circles a Klevin ‘The K-man’ Krendel. He likes to play women Dwarves.
7 Fox Mulder was a character on the hit T.V. series ‘The X-Files’ that enjoyed many years of very good episodes and very in depth subplots but lost its ‘Moxy’ during the seasons starting from the September of 1998. Oddly around the time they moved to L.A. from Vancouver, BC. Odd?8
8 for definition of Odd see first line of Footnote 3.
